Why I Don't Attend Genealogy Conferences
I do have a few other excuses: a busy schedule, three children, and a husband that works away from home quite a bit, to name a few. I can't really let them take the blame, however. Anytime I ever want to attend a conference, my husband and kids are always happy to rearrange their schedules to make it possible. So the real reason goes back to the shyness and self-esteem. I'm a work-at-home Mom, and I guess I just feel out of practice and uncomfortable in social situations such as this. Who will I talk to? What will I say? What will people think of me? Many people at the national and regional conferences attend in groups, or know each other through society or other genealogical commitments. At least that's the way it often seems - that everyone at the conference knows someone else. I am not the only one who attends conferences solo by a long shot, however, so why do I let it make me so nervous? How do I move past it?
Genealogy conferences have so much to offer, that it is a shame for anyone to avoid them due to shyness or social anxiety. It's thought that shyness may affect as much as 40% of the population, so I can't be the only one out there feeling this way. The good news is that experts say there are ways to overcome shyness. There are some good books on the topic as well, including Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence by Erika B. Hilliard.
If this blog describes you, then the next time a genealogy conference that interests you rolls around, please remind yourself that everyone is there to learn, share knowledge, and have a good time - not to judge or criticize you. Even the biggest names in the field are usually excited about meeting new people, and sharing their love and knowledge of genealogy with those who will carry it into the future. The many benefits of a genealogy conference vastly outweigh a little bit of initial discomfort, and once you get there it's hard not to have fun!
Comments
You described me. I have found that if you keep a smile on your face and look at everyone in the eye, you encourage others to speak to you first.
Kimberly do you have a degree in psychology that I don’t know about? How’d you get so smart girl? Your advice is very, very good. It took a lot of guts to broach the topic and I applaud your courage. Many of us out there (yep, even me) feel just the same way you do but we don’t like to admit it. Good for you!
And Kimberly, if at any time we should cross paths at a conference I would be delighted to sit with you and lunch with you and would enjoy the experience very much.
Count me into this group. We do have one advantage now . . . Thanks to the blogging community, we have gotten past the awkward introductions part of any meeting and may have reached the stage of good friends. We just have to all plan to attend the same conference. Any suggestions?
I also am shy. You will rarely find me standing up in front of my genealogy group or church. On the opposite side of the coin, I can be a terrific representative at conferences. When I do not know people and most likely never see them again, I tend to chatter like a magpie; gush. The NGS conferences that I have attended were in San Diego, Denver, Portland, and Sacramento. I only go to the ones in the west. If all of you ever have lunch together as you described above, please invite me. You will find me seated near the back of the room, preferably on the back row, so I won’t have to walk in front of people.
Kimberly:
We have all felt that way at one time or another.
I attended a seminar in Spokane hosted by Miriam’s (AnceStories) local genealogy society. One of their members made her way up and down every row introducing herself and talking to us. She even brought someone over to introduce to me who had a shared interest.
Now that was hospitality. I wish I could give her credit, but I can’t find her name in my notes (terrible handwriting). I’m sure Miriam can help me out.
Other societies should think about adopting a similar plan. So much better than asking us to stand in front of tons of people and give our name and where we’re from (I don’t like that!). This was so much more personal.
Oh, and sign me up for a genealogy bloggers lunch, I’d love to get together with all of you.
footnoteMaven
Kimberly, I attended the FGS Conference in Fort Wayne this week, by myself, and it appeared that there were a lot of other people attending by themselves. I’m not an especially outgoing person and don’t particularly like being in crowded rooms either but do make an exception for genealogy conferences. As Mrs. Murphy said, it helps to keep a smile on your face!
I would LOVE to attend one (or more) of these confrences but they are alway too far and I can’t afford to go to them. Between Airfail, Hotels and eating out 2 or 3 meals a day, it it just too much.
I am sure I would really have a good time, though.