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I'm My Own Grandpa

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Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

CHORUS
Oh, I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad,
And so became my uncle though it was very sad.
For if he was my uncle then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter who of course was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue,
Because although she is my wife she's my grandmother, too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother then I'm her grandchild,
And every time I think of it it nearly drives me wild,
For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw.
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

-- Copyright Dwight Latham and Moe Jaffe, 1947.
Based on a Mark Twain Anecdote

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